Yes, it’s a bizarre name, but There Does Not Exist isn’t your standard brewery. Case in point: the brewery’s location. Near the edge of Edna Valley off Suburban Road in San Luis Obispo, There Does Not Exist stands, unmarked, in an industrial park. (It begs the question: does “there” exist?) Those who make the trek and hunt it down are rewarded with a deliciously different brewery. Brewer/owner Max Montgomery worked at Firestone-Walker Brewing for many years, and has adapted what he experienced there into his own signature style. While IPAs are on the menu, they do not rule the roost as they do in so many other California and West Coast brewhouses.
Instead of focusing on hops, There Does Not Exist gives the spotlight to underrepresented styles like Kolsch, saisons, pilsners, and dark lagers. The spacious tap room is clean and uncluttered, with roll-up doors that open onto a patio with views of Edna Valley’s vineyards. The list of beers on tap changes constantly, and may see certain beers only once. So if you like something, be sure to take cans from the bottle shop home with you. Everything about the brewery is cryptic, including the names of the beers, like “Transit of the Binary Star” Saison and “Effigy” Pilsner. In fact, visiting the brewery’s website requires users to answer the square root of 441 to proceed. (The answer is 21, i.e. the legal drinking age to visit a brewer’s website.) But for all its mystery, There Does Not Exist is a solid choice for beer geeks and casual beer drinkers alike. Anyone looking for something a little different, a little off the beaten path, will enjoy this fun spot. Pups are welcome and doggie bowls are available to help quench their thirst. Kids are also welcome on the patio, where picnic tables and umbrellas are perfect for coloring, board games, and more.